The law of attraction works in mysterious ways

I run into this man 2 weeks ago and barely noticed him until he began speaking, complimenting me on how good my English is. He had been eaves dropping while I spoke to the waitress of my favourite coffee shop. His voice was such a turn on that I took a long look at him.
Tallish, fortyish , Caucasian, slightly balding dark blond, tatoos all over, blue eyes full of street smartness and this incredibly sexy rough broken voice that says life has kicked his ass badly but he is still standing.
That man is the archetype of bad boy extraordinaire. everything about him screams bad bad boy !
I smiled awkwardly and left. Wondering why my heart was beating so loud.
A couple of days later I met a friend in starbucks and there he was again queuing up for his coffee, I pretended to wait besides him just to say hi and asked where this great accent came from.
Indiana, whispered the sexy low voice before leaving.
Aha, now I can call him the guy from Indiana when I think of him. Something tells me we could have a brilliant cavaleria fantastica together.
I had forgotten all about him until I was closing the shop 2 days ago, everyone had left and I was taking down the last rolling shades and putting up a clo " sorry we are closed " sign when someone tried to come in. I began saying that we were closed and stopped talking.
There he was.
The sexy bad boy from Indiana !
Its you, I purred. Then I noticed he had some minor wounds on his forehead. I asked if he were all right, had he been in a fight ? He insisted he had only been at the wrong end of a boomerang he was playing with. A boomerang ? yeah right. I decided not to get nosy as it is not my business after all.
Are you closing ? he asked
what ? uhugh, I blushed and extended my hand to him.
I am Chantal, pleased to meet you mister Indiana.
He shook my hand and said Hey I am Ted , how U doin ?
He explained he was in zurich only for a while and had no idea how long for but he had seen me around a couple of times. I hit on him in my cheeky Chantal way and said If you are not gonna be around for long you better ask my number so that you can take me out.
Tex giggled and digested what had just happened, looking at me with y crooked smile, silently.
We just stood there for a moment, I stared at him and he at me, till he said he better go.
I didn't budge and he whispered sexily  u gonna make me crawl ? pointing at the semi closed blinds.
Nah, im gonna be nice to you this time. I laughed.
Hey, how do u say have a great evening in German ? he inquired as I let him out of the shop.
(An American who wants to speak German ?!?!?!)
Schöni abend, I purred,  Schöni abend Chantal, said the sexy broken voice as I closed the shop.
Oh dear ! What a walking tornado, this man is sex on legs and doesn't even know it.
I saw him again the next day when he came to the center to buy some vitamins, I flirted as much as I could given that I was on duty and had to behave. He is probably wondering if I really hit on him, I decided that next time I see Tex, I shall just give him my number and bat my eyelids saying call me.

Why am I even interested in that man ? He is not my type at all, besides this broken voice that makes me want to rip his clothes  off.
Is it because he seems to be a lost soul like I used to be ? Or because he is playing hard to get. I think he does find me attractive but does he want to date me ? And will he accept my terms ? Will I get him ? How long will it take to get him ? I like this new challenge.

the ethics of sex friendship

Sex friendships as they are called, are a wonderful way to have absolutely great sex with someone you like and can trust to a certain degree, several times over a number of month and even years . It has all the advantages of a relationship but it is not a relationship. It has none of the obligations and problems of a relationship because it is not a relationship.
It is a loving sexy arrangement that works for both parts.
Hollywood always shows sex friendships blossoming into romance, relationships and maybe even marriage. I am not saying this never happens, but I do doubt it happens a lot.
Most sex friendship come to an abrupt painful end when one of the lovers fall in love with the other.
Unless it is a mutual thing, this never works. The one in love start to see the sexual connection as so much more than it is and the one who isn't begin to fear giving too much because his hot sex friend is turning into a weak, jealous, exclusive, hysterical burden and that is not the deal they had anymore.
Ugly break up, humiliation, lies and delusions ensue.
Whatever you do, do not, I repeat, DO NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR SEX FRIEND !!!!!!!!
Did everyone see that or should I repeat again ?
The beauty of sex friendship is that you can have your cake and eat it. You can make love and enjoy tons of orgasms with a trusted friend without any pressure or stress. If you change this delicate balance, the whole thing is ruined , often beyond repair.
Sometimes your sex friendship will just run its course and you stop sleeping together because the magic is gone and you want a new playmate, some other time one of you wants to go bareback and the other doesn't. It could even be that one of you meets someone they fall in love with, or in lust with , and you need to wait until the novelty wears off. When your lover decides he wants a real relationship or he has a strong need to start a family, there is nothing you can do but walk away with as much as dignity as can be mastered. Whatever you do, turn around quickly before he sees you crying, this is not how you want to be remembered by an ex sex friend.
Unless one of this ugly scenarios occurs, there is no reason why you couldn't enjoy years of no string attached with your favourite shag buddy.
There are however, a few rules you need to follow to the letter if you want a happy and long lasting sex friendship.

Here they are :

Never, ever, fall in love with your sex friend.
Never have social contact with him, no dinner together, no long  phone calls, no socialising at all.
Do not tell anyone about him, if u have some friends in common, make sure they don't know.
Don't see him for anything but fabulous sex.
Don't cook for him or do anything girlfriendy for him, ever.
Don't offer to do anything girlfriend.
Don't offer any support when he is not well.
Don't confide in him about your personal problems and don't listen to his.
Don't cuddle up too long after sex.
Don't look too long into each other s eyes when you make love.
Don't pay him too many non sexual compliments.
Don't tell him too much about yourself and don't ask him private questions.
Don't tell him if you  sleep with other people.
Don't expect fidelity.
Don't expect to be loved.
Never forget that you are just lovers, not in love.

Remember the strict codes of sex friendship ethics and you will enjoy nirvana for a long time without paying the price for it.
Break the rules and ...... you will suffer ugly heart breaks.

Make time for pleasure

Whatever you do, never forget to take some you-time during the day and have some fun. Even if it is just a cup of tea, enjoy the wonderful aroma, sip it slowly and feel the taste, close your eyes for a couple of minutes and fully live the moment you are drinking your cup of favourite tea. You can always answer the phone, check your emails, do your books and return your boss's call in a few minutes. But do take some time for yourself each and everyday.
The same goes for sex. So what if your schedule is so tight you don't feel like planning a romantic night and even a bubble bath seems like a chore, if a great lover is available for a short time in the morning or during your lunch break and he happens to want to jump your bones too...., you should grab the chance to relax and treat yourself to a power quickie. Yes it might lack the magic of candle light and silk lingerie but you will feel so naughty to be doing the deed at a time you are supposed to catch your breath or gulp down some junk food or get ready to stress even more. Adrenalin will pump up and down, Oxytocin and Endorphin ( the feel good hormones the brain release when we have fun ) will give you some energy stronger than any drugs could and without the nasty side effects.
To give yourself the time to fuse your body with another, to kiss passionately and enjoy delirious orgasms with someone who is on the same wavelength and time schedule you are. To just live this moment of pure primal pleasure just for yourself is so......liberating !
There is no time to cuddle afterwards ? Who cares ? You will  need to go to the bathroom anyway.
Your hair is disheveled  and your make up has melted, so what ? You feel now so good and so rejuvenated it was well worth it. One trip to the bathroom later, your clothes are back on, your make up is retouched, your hair is innocent looking and you are the only one knowing why you  smile happily and have a sudden boost of energy lasting the whole day.
Yay for power quickies !

best to be honest

2 weeks ago I had a huge surprise.
A former shagbuddy of mine just paid me a visit at the center. I was counting bottles of lavender oils to see if we should order some more, minding my own business, miles away from thinking about sex when I noticed a tall slim black man standing silently a few feet from me. Looking up at him I felt my heart jump.
Byron !
Byron, lovely, romantic, sensual and adorable Byron !
Yay !
I rushed in his arms for a great bear hug. So happy to see him again.
He is back in Zurich and thought we might catch up on gossips. In the tea room where I usually have my breaks, Byron told me what he had been up to for the past four years since he left. Back packing through Europe, meeting great people, reading ancient litterature, learning more foreign languages. As I listened to Byron, I realised that I had really liked him although I barely noticed when he left. Why did he leave already ? Oh yes I remember now, I was too dispassionate and noncomital for him. He was too smart and definetely too decent for me. When the topic turned to me I found myself telling him about Martin and K, and how this  had made me even more determined to keep love out of my life and refuse to commit to romance and love.
Why did I tell him that ? What possesed me to be so honest ? Since when do I tell men my inner thoughts ? Did I like Byron more than I thought or is it because he took me by surprise and I had no time to put my armour on ?
He seemed unimpressed that my position in those matters had not changed in all those years, adding that I had more to offer than just that. ( I know ) I insisted that this is what makes me happy and he remarqued that it must be because I already done it all, marriage, love, raising children and the whole nine yeards. ( I know that too ! ) .
It was time for me to return to the center but I asked him to come over for dinner when he has time, he answered he would think about it. As I wanted to give him my number he gave me his and whispered softly that he already had mine. What ! He has kept my number all this years ? Why ? Who does that ? Does he still like me ?
I gave him a chaste kiss on the lips, whispering I want to see him soon, before waltzing back to work.
It felt wonderful Byron wanting me again but I may have made a mistake by being too honest.
2 weeks and a couple of texts later, we still havent gotten together and I wonder if maybe he might have hoped that I would be ready for something more substantial by now and I blew it by declaring im not.
Byron is just to good to be lied to and if Im losing an opportunity to sleep with him because I told him im still me.......I shall accept that.
If one night he decides to take a walk on the wild side, at least he will do so knowing what to expect.
I guess it is best to be honnest after all.

The key to my happyness : no love just great sex

Last night I run into an old sexfriend of mine who is also someone articulated and stable who  always knows exactly what he is doing at any time. We had a wonderful, sizzling hot evening of beyond wild sex together, he gave himself to me so completely that if I didnt know better , I might have mistaken this for feelings. After a couple of hours of deep french kissing, fondling, licking, humping insanely, giggling at each other and humping again, fusing together deeply and humping again passionately , melting in each other and humping again.......and again.... and again. After a couple of hours of this, he fell on top of me, holding my hands waiting for his heartbeat to go down then sat up, looked at me and smiled.
-This was absolutely....
-I know,I smiled back. I thought I had a wolf between my legs, did I hear you growl at some point ?
He noded with a big wide grin :
-Wow, I mean wow !
-I giggled and said : U know you have a really great smile, I love your smile
He smiled some more and whispered :
-I love everypart of you
-How come it is always so fantastic with you ? I have a tendency to get bored quickly with blokes but not with you, I purred.
-Same here, he flirted, this thing between us is ecxeptional, how long has it been ? 9 years ? and you still glue me to the ceiling ?
I came closer and kissed him softly, he closed his eyes and pretended to growl again, we bursted out with laughter. It occured to me that he had a plane to catch in 2 hours and maybe this was for the best.
Im not going through this again. Falling for the perfect lover.
-Do you want me to drive you to the airport ? I offered as I unstraddled him.
-Nah, he declined politly, I will call a cab, there a few things and a couple of calls I need to get done before my flight.
He had a shower before getting dressed and I still lingered on the messy bed half naked watching him.
This was getting too cozy, I needed to take out some romance and put back some casual into this.
As he was fully clothed and picked up his overnight bag, he bent over to kiss me.
-I like you better when you are naked, I whispered in his ear.
.Hmmm I look forward to fucking you again, he purred seductively.
Did he feel it too ?  That this was nearly perfect, way too good for comfort ?
However, he and I are exactly on the same wavelength and understand each other perfectly. I am not letting romantic love back in my life, not as long as I am the boss of my sexlife, the boss of my life, After a long scented bath where I could recall the many hottest moments with my abroad lover and not a single scary, ugly, worrying one, I realised that maybe this was the key to happyness. A great man who comes in, with no agenda and no demands whatsoever, gives me his body and takes mine, and leaves after a good cuddle. This is what makes me happy, to be able to focus on the beauty of a sexual connection without worrying about the agony of love. As I woke up this morning and switched my mobile phone on, I found two empty texts from a number I dont know. Oh dear !
That exactly what Martin used to do to reconnect with me. Not a chance, I thought, Im the boss of my sexlife, very happily so and im not letting you back in.